Help!
I am trapped in a tall, dark tower.
It’s dank and it’s dark and the walls are surprisingly squidgy considering I’m in the middle of a barren, cheerless wasteland where everything is grey.
It was horrid. I was walking along when this butterfly dive bombed me and carted me off to his lair. It’s the evil butterfly, he’s real. I know everyone laughed over the notion but he’s real and he has me trapped. He kept chuckling and saying to himself ‘no one ever suspects the butterfly’ It really is a shame he’s evil cause he’s so pretty.
And before you ask. No. I did not do anything to provoke this attack. I was walking along minding my own business when he grabbed me.
Now I am TRAPPED!!!
I’d be glad to give you directions if they’d be of any help. We went over some hills, under a waterfall, across a sea and then we took the train for awhile (the butterfly was getting tired, it was a long trip) Then we flew for a while more but I fell asleep and so I have no idea where I am now *shrug*
While I may not know where I am I do know that the tower is surrounded by some very high walls that are very difficult to climb and are covered in poisonous slugs that make the whole wall slippery. It does glow though so that may make it easier to find. The earth around the tower is infested by jumping, flesh-eating caterpillars that can see in the dark. And the air is swarming with green winged gooble-shonk-bupple flappers. They’re rather vicious but have lovely singing voices. I know everyone has heard of the purple winged gooble-shonk-bupple flappers and find them to have very agreeable and sweet natures. They love a cuddle and are more loyal then a golden retriever could ever be. Alas the green winged gooble-shonk-bupple flappers aren’t like their cousins. They’re mean, real mean. And they’re the size of a wombat
Is there no knight brave enough to rescue me? No one who will slay dragons, battle fearsome and smelly armies single-handedly, knock over an old lady with an apple cart while swinging a cat in a figure eight motion? But most importantly…is there no knight in this kingdom who will do battle with the dreaded butterfly???
Signed
Damsel-in-Distress
P.S. did I mention that the butterfly has super powers??? And all of them evil
I fear that a sword would be rendered useless against the mighty power of the butterfly. To defeat him you need a much more cunning and creative weapon (but I don’t know what it is yet)
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3 comments:
yeh, there probably was a brave, creative and spunky enough dude to come get you from your butterfly nemesis.
but i think he died of a heart attack a couple of days ago: he was eating as many steaks in an hour to try and break the world record, and they were drowned in buttet to slide down his throat nice and easy. i know for a fact he went into a coma, but i dunno if he's come out of it, or headed to the other side....
so maybe i'll come. i may not be the spunkiest guy and whatnot, but i did get A's in english, and i have glasses so i'm invincible when i'm wearing them. i'll see what i can do buddy.
i also have a display pic of indiana jones (who totally imitates me all time). tough as nails i am.
thanks lil bro. i think i'd much rather have you rescue me then the knight with blocked arteries (i didn't want to say anything to him but he also has a BO problem)
and maybe being good with english could be the key to bringing down the butterfly
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