Sunday, May 07, 2006

Information for those of us who may encounter this in our life time

this is from Yann Martel's Man Booker prize-winning novel, Life of Pi.



1- always read instructions carefully
2- do not drink urine. or sea water. or bird blood.
3- do not eat jellyfish. or fish that are armed with spikes. or that have parrot-like beaks. or that puff up like balloons.
4- pressing the eyes if fish will paralye them
5- the body can be a hero in battle. if a castaway is injured, beware of well-meaning but ill-founded medical treatment. ignorance is the worst doctor, while rest and sleep are the best nurses.
6- put up your feet at least five minutes every hour.
7- unnecessary exertion should be avoided. but an idle mind tends to sink, so the mind should be kept occupied with whatever light distraction may suggest itself. playing cards, 20 questions, and i spy are excellent forms of simple recreation. community singing is another sure fire way to lift spirits. yarn spinning is also highly recommended.
8- green water is shallower then blue water
9- beware of far off clouds that look like mountains. look for green. ultimately, a foot is the only good judge of land.
10- do not go swimming. it wastes energy. besides, a survival craft may drift faster then you can swim. not to mention the danger of sea life. if you're wet then wet your cloathes instead.
11- do not urinate in your clothes. the momentary warmth is not worth the nappy rash.
12- shelter yourself. exposure kills faster than thirst or hunger.
13- so long as no excessive water is lost through perspiration, the body can survive up to 14 days without water. if you feel thirsty, sick a button.
14- turtles are an easy catch and make for excellent meals. their blood is a good, nutritious,
salt-free drink; their flesh is tasty and filling; their fat has many uses; and the castaway will find turtle eggs a real treat. mind the beak and claws.
15-don't let your morale flag. be daunted, but not defeated. remember: the spirit, above all else, counts. if you have the will to live, you will. Good luck!!!

4 comments:

Ponyb said...

is this one of those "just in case" scenarios?

jess said...

yeah darl. i'd hate to see you get ship wrecked and do everything wrong :-)

SuperTiph said...

Hey thanks for that Jess. Can you remind me of these next time I get shipwrecked. That reaminds me, I should go and read "Worst Case Scenario". Those are funny. Stupid Americans. Then again, they're goingt o be paying my wages. Super stupid Americans.

jess said...

alright, next time you're ship gets wrecked just call and i'll talk you through it =p